My Straight Jacket Feeling

So I thought I would of posted more blogs, but the truth is I didn't. At first there was nothing to write about then there was stuff to write about, covered with nothing and then something again. Right now I need to blog. You know the song by AAR where Tyson Ritter is talking about a straight jacket feeling. That is how I feel. I made out with a past flame you could say. The last time I saw him I was fourteen. And he was like eighteen nineteen so of course nothing happened. I guess it was more of a crush with anything. Well I want him I really do, but I can't let myself give in. I don't want to be someone's late night call. That is just not how I roll. I am a classy girl. My last relationship ended in the pits. Scott ended up telling people that I am whore, and spread a rumor that I cheated on him, when I never did. Now with a hand full of people my name is as good as mud. I guess I'm afraid with Zach because I don't want them to make his life hell. I maybe less then four months from eighteen, but I don't hang out with high schoolers. These are people that Zach is able to see everyday. I mean I want to date him, and I hope that is how he feels about me. That is what I want. I think it would be good for me. A guy like Zach. He makes me smile, and being around him just makes me weak in the knees. I really want to give in to my primal needs, but I don't know if I am able to. Why do people have to be jerks? Why do they have to make everything bad, when everything is finally good? Why Scott? Why do you have to do this to me? Can't you just leave me alone? Haven't you hurt me enough? I guess not.