remaining thoughts

I am thinking more about what I did last night per say. Sometimes When you do things you regret them. I really don't know if it is a mistake. Just maybe a thought. Anyway I just woke up not to long ago. So I felt like posting. I have been in the writing mood. One of my professors loves to blog and what not. She had a blog for years. I figured I should start writing in this one again. Things have been happening to me lately. I had to get away from my mother. I am 19 years old. I figured that I am an adult. It is just a place that is not good for me to be in. I don't want to be that type of person to fallow in their mother's foot steps. The reason for that is she is everything that I do not want to be. I want to break the chain. I don't like it when people are like well she is your mother. I am like if you lived my life you would understand. My point is if someone treats you badly you don't want to be around them. She was abusing her power. She took being my "mother" for granted. A mother doesn't make their child feel like they are nothing. They don't try to emotionally drain you. Mothers don't tell you that you are nothing, and all you are is just selfish and worthless. I won't be a part of it. I am better than that. I see someone more as my mom than my actual mom. My actual mom may have given birth to me, but she was never a mother. The lady I am referring to is one of my professors. She is everything that I won't to be. It is weird telling her that. I don't know if I am able to do that. I don't know how she would take it. I already made one confession. Making another would be hard enough. I guess it wouldn't be. I am going to let that one wait. Maybe I will post that one on her. Blogging it makes it easier. I guess it feels like a shield. It just makes me feel better in general. It's almost like talking people, but not really. They are reading what I wrote, but they don't have to say anything back. If anyone reads it. I guess it doesn't matter.